


The Adventures of Rear Admiral Bucky Barnes

by ninjamcgarrett



Category: Marvel (Comics), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Animals, Bubble Bath, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-03-11
Packaged: 2017-12-04 23:42:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninjamcgarrett/pseuds/ninjamcgarrett
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony had one – and only one – very strict rule about Stark Tower. No pets allowed. That was before Bucky snuck one in during the coldest winter on record in New York. Bucky rescues a bunny and decides to reenact World War II naval battles in the bathtub with the bunny. Unrepentant fluff!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Adventures of Rear Admiral Bucky Barnes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [haipollai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/haipollai/gifts), [girl0nfire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl0nfire/gifts).



Tony had one – and only one – very strict rule about Stark Tower. No pets allowed. That was before Bucky snuck one in during the coldest winter on record in New York.

Bucky had gone out for a walk in Central Park late one December night to decompress after a long day of SHIELD meetings. Natasha had expected him to be gone close to an hour and had just settled in with a book and a cup of tea on the main floor of the living quarters in the Tower when he returned. The ex-Soviet assassin exited the elevator with his arms crossed over the front of his leather jacket.

“What are you doing back so early?” she asked him, one eyebrow raised over the odd way his arms were crossed over his chest.

That was when she saw a fluffy white ear poke out of the jacket and something shift under the leather material.

“James…”

He squirmed under her stare and shifted his feet.

“He was all alone, Nat! Poor little guy wasn’t going to survive the cold snap tonight, not with it snowing. I couldn’t just leave him in the park!”

“Oh, James,” she said softly, shaking her head, a wry smile appearing as she put her book down.

Nat stood and walked to Bucky, holding out her hands expectantly. He gently eased a tiny white bunny rabbit from beneath his jacket and handed it to her.

“Gentle,” he cautioned.

She smirked. “Relax, Pops. I’m not going to eat it for a midnight snack if that’s what you’re worried about.”

He chuckled. “Well there goes one rumor from the Red Room.”

Nat smacked his arm playfully before holding up the bunny. Its dark eyes regarded her as she ran her fingers gently through the soft fur. The bunny couldn’t have been older than a few weeks, two months at most. It had either been abandoned by or separated from its mother and siblings in the large park. She sighed; the animal was cute and very fluffy.

Handing him back to Bucky, she said in the sternest voice she could muster, “He can stay on two conditions.”

Bucky brightened before Nat spoke again. She held up her index finger.

“One, he does not sleep in our bed.” A second finger appeared. “Two, you are responsible for it.”

He kissed her cheek before darting down the hall to their quarters to set up a space for the bunny while talking to Jarvis about the types of food and care the bunny needed. Nat just smiled; her partner seemed excited and she was looking forward to some of the adventures he would go through trying to hide the bunny from Tony.

 

Bucky named the bunny Dugan because he said that watching the bunny’s nose twitch reminded him of the way Dum Dum’s nose would twitch after scratching his moustache. When Tony locked himself in his lab for hours – or days – on end, Bucky would take the bunny out and let it roam around the Tower with him. Steve just shook his head and sighed, much like Nat had done, when he saw the bunny. Clint cackled rather gleefully over the ways they could torture Tony with the bunny and proceeded to quote lines from the Killer Rabbit scene of _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ whenever he was around Dugan. Thor found the small creature delightful, especially when Dugan tried to nibble on Mjolnir and when that didn’t work, Dugan climbed on top of it and chewed on the leather wrist strap instead. Bucky discovered that Bruce had taking a liking to the furball and would take Dugan down to Bruce’s quiet lab for the scientist to chatter to while he worked. Coulson refused to comment on the appearance of the bunny but Bucky had more than once caught him gently petting Dugan and saying, “One of these days, little guy, I’m going to get you a miniature bowler so that you can live up to your namesake.”

For three weeks after Bucky brought Dugan back to the Tower, life was calm and surprisingly quiet for the Avengers. One night he picked Dugan up out of the bunny’s cage and cringed.

“Yikes, buddy, you need a bath.”

He watched Dugan’s nose twitch as the bunny rolled around in his hands and washed his ears almost self-consciously. Dugan stood up suddenly on his back legs, ears erect, and regarded Bucky with a critical stare. It was then an ingenious idea occurred to Bucky.

“Come on, little guy, I’ve got an idea to make this more fun for the both of us…”

 

An hour later, Natasha had finished working out in the Tower’s gym and headed back to the en suite bathroom she shared with Bucky for a quick shower before doing some SHIELD paperwork. She opened the door and was greeted with the most unusual sight she had ever seen since meeting James Barnes.

In the large whirlpool bathtub was Bucky with Dugan. Several toy battleships were floating on the bubbly surface and Dugan was perched atop the largest one. What was even more surprising were the matching rear admiral hats perched rather jauntily over Dugan’s large ears and on Bucky’s head. Bucky was pushing battleships about on the water and making explosion noises.

“Rear Admiral Dugan, deploy the depth charges!”

“Oh. My. God.”

Bucky looked up and his face turned bright red when he caught sight of Nat standing in the doorway. He groaned and slipped beneath the surface of the water, leaving Dugan to bob about in the toy replica of the _USS Midway_. Nat walked over, chuckling, and looked over the edge of the tub at Bucky, who was underneath the water, holding his breath and watching her warily. When he saw the grin on her face, he resurfaced and pushed his wet hair out of his eyes.

“Hi,” he said, a sheepish grin on his face.

“Hi,” Nat replied, sitting on the edge of the whirlpool tub. “Whatcha doin’?” she asked innocently.

He fiddled and pushed one of the battleships across the tub. “Um, well, Dugan needed a bath and I figured rather that torture the little guy, it’d be more fun to, you know, reenact World War II battles with him.”

Nat buried her face in her hands and couldn’t help but laugh long and hard at the absurdity of the situation. Even decades after meeting in the Red Room, he could still find ways to surprise her and make her laugh. She looked up again and eyed the hats.

“James, where on earth did you get those hats? Especially one small enough to fit the bunny?”

Bucky wiggled his eyebrows. “It’s New York City, Nat. You can find _anything_ here.”

She leaned over and kissed him. “Make sure to gently dry Dugan off once you’re done and give him a treat.” Nat eyed the cocky angle of the hat and grinned before kissing him again. She whispered against Bucky’s jaw, “And then take Dugan down to Bruce in his lab. I’ll be waiting in bed.”

Bucky’s eyes lit up and Nat winked at him.

“Come join me afterward. And bring the hat,” she said before leaving the room.

Later that night, Tony popped into Bruce’s lab to consult on a project they were working on and discovered the residence of Read Admiral Dugan in his Tower. He stormed up to Bucky and Natasha’s suite to confront “that blasted Soviet that Steve always traipsed around with” but when he opened the door, the sight of James in nothing but his rear admiral hat scarred him too much to say anything. Instead, Tony turned around and left, eyes glazed over, without saying a word. He never brought up the incident – or Dugan – again.


End file.
